I Can't Stop Loving You
by Noble Falcon
Summary: Trials to their relationship. Set 3 years after the game. Squiona. Rated T for now for swearing, but will probably be changed to M once I upload more content. Please R and R
1. The Beginning

**A/N: Hey Guys. This is my first fic in a while. It is set roughly 3-4 years after the game, so Squall has grown from an insecure teenager to a strong leader of 21 years old. Please R and R. Rated T for now, but it'll probably be bumped to M later for violence, possible sex, swearing, and mild drug use. Juicy stuff right? Don't read this if any of that offends you.**

**Standard Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the storyline.**

I Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 1:

The Beginning

Squall sighed. It had been another long day. His eyes blurred as he stared down at his paperwork. As commander he was required to oversee everything from dispatching SeeD to disciplinary action. It would certainly be another long night. Several papers littered his desk, and he starred at the top one.

_Another disorderly conduct case, drug use this time._ He sighed. _ Students were caught under the influence of a controlled substance and violated both curfew and noise regulations. Recommended disciplinary action: monetary fine and an educational class._

Quisitis always helped him out. She knew he was still inexperienced at this sort of thing. He followed her recommendation and issued a 5000 gil fine to all parties involved and ordered that they take a controlled substance awareness class. He sighed again, leaned back in his office chair, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it.

This was a habit he'd picked up from Irvine, although Irvine could hardly be blamed for it. Squall had been stressed at the time, and Irvine had told him that all he needed was a cigarette. Squall had smoked one, and felt surprisingly better. So the addiction had begun. Irvine had turned him onto Marlboro Reds, "Cowboy Killers," as he'd called them. Squall felt bad about smoking, but not for the reasons smokers usually feel bad. He had been hiding this from Rinoa, who detested cigarette smoke, for nearly a year.

"She just doesn't understand." He rationalized aloud. "We've been together for three and a half years, and I should be allowed to make my own decisions, especially about my own health. I just don't want to hurt her, and that's why she must not find out." Even as he said it, he knew it was bullshit. He knew she would be hurt even worse if he kept hiding it. But he couldn't bring himself to tell her. Not yet.

Squall looked at his remaining paperwork and decided to retire for the night. He was sick of working, but he was also sick of thinking.

When he got back to his room, he found Rinoa still awake on her computer.

"What the hell are you still doing up at 4am?" he teased as he made for the shower. He had to take a shower and brush his teeth before he could be near her. The smell of smoke still clung to him.

"I'm playing this game called Second World. It's really fun! Come check it out after your shower. Didja have an ok day at work?" she called to him.

"It was alright," he replied simply as he shut the bathroom door.

Ten minutes later Squall emerged wearing his black jeans and a towel draped over his bare shoulders. His hair was dripping wet, and fell across his face in sharp points. He smelled of the 'phoenix' scented body wash, that she loved, and he smiled at her with his pearly white teeth.

"Hey you," she said as he emerged, rising from the computer chair and walking toward him.

"Hey," he said back, letting her approach him. When she was close enough, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. He was still warm from his shower, but he somehow still felt her warmth spread over him. He really didn't deserve her.

When she finally pulled away, she beckoned him to follow her to the computer. He did, and sat down next to her.

"This is Second World. It's a kind of game that enables people to keep in contact with one another from long distances apart, and you can meet new people too! See my character? I can change just about everything about her, from her skin—" Squall watched as the computerized version of Rinoa's skin got lighter and darker, "to her hair—" he saw the character's hair turn purple, "and even her clothes and accessories!" Rinoa finished, making her character wear a suit of leather. "I've been talking to this one guy, I think you'd like him, I'm not sure what his name is but his online name is 'killerblade,' but I just call him 'Ki' for short…"

Rinoa continued to explain to Squall all the details and finer points of "Second World," and, although he wasn't particularly interested, he listened intently. He loved her voice.

When Rinoa had finally said goodbye to "Ki" she followed him into the bedroom. Squall loved sharing his bed with her. Although their sex had been fantastic, there was something about sleeping, just sleeping, with someone you love. He lay down and she curled up next to him. The curves of her body fit so perfectly against him, it was like they were part of a two piece puzzle. It was so easy to see that they belonged together. Squall was out in seconds once the lights were extinguished.

**A/N: well, there's chapter one. I'm not going to post this until it is finished, and I can post it all at once. Maybe it won't be done, but it'll be close. They say that good writers let the story write itself, and this one has written itself epically so far, but I have yet to see an ending I'm happy with. Please, read on.**

**--N.F.--**


	2. The Mission and the Date

I Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 2:

The Mission and The Date

"God fucking dammit!" Squall cursed aloud. He would have to do it himself, but the thought of it made him sick. He lit a cigarette as he re-read the email.

"To Whom it May Concern:

As I'm sure you are aware, Trabia Garden has been facing some difficulties re-establishing its clientele since the destruction of Garden four years ago. We realize that many of the issues stem from a lack of leadership within our new SeeD program. We would therefore like to hire your top ranking SeeD to assist in the training and teaching of our new cadets and SeeD members. For this service, we agree to pay the standard deployment rate for such a high ranking SeeD, and would like to draft a contract for this ASAP. The term of service for said SeeD would be an eight week period, and would thus be issued the fee of 120,000 gil. Please respond as soon as possible so we can get our Garden up and running again.

Thank you for your cooperation and assistance.

Headmaster Vance Flatz

Trabia Garden"

Squall knew that as commander, he was the highest ranking SeeD, and although he oversaw the deployment and training of his own SeeD, that he was still eligible for hire. And nobody would jump in and say 'hey I'll do it' this time. There was no getting around it. Squall called his secretary and had her draft up the contract for him to sign. How the hell was he going to tell Rinoa he'd be away without her for two months?

He could think of nothing else all day. The contract they received back from Trabia said that his deployment was to be the very next day. Reluctantly, Squall signed it.

Feeling that he was entitled to at least the rest of the day off, he called Quisitis and told her she'd be filling his post of Commander until he returned, and she'd be starting immediately. She didn't question him about why she should start so soon, for which he was grateful. Squall went back to his room around 5:00 that evening, and after his usual shower, went and greeted Rinoa, who was on the computer again.

"Oh my God! I didn't even hear you come in!" she squeaked as he wrapped his arms around her. "What are you doing home so early? Not that I'm complaining."

"I have some unfortunate news, I've been given a mission, a long one." He replied.

"Aw, baby I'm sorry."

"We can talk about it later, over dinner tonight? I was wondering if you wanted to check out the new place in Balamb. The paper gave it five stars, said it had the best food in Balamb, and they have a ballroom just off the main area."

"Squall Leonhart! Are you asking me on a date? I'm so flattered! Wow, it's been a while! Yes, absolutely I'll go, let me sign off and shower. You go put on something nice, I'll be out in a flash."

"Wear something nice…" Squall repeated. He went to his closet and pulled out the most formal, best looking suit he owned. His SeeD dress uniform. It had become much more decorated over the years, now displaying his top rank and a medal for heroism in the Time Compression Wars, as they've come to be called. He waited in the bedroom, surveying himself in the mirror. He had never been vain; he was just concerned that this might be overkill. Until she walked in…

"You know, you're the best looking guy here…" she teased, chuckling at his insecurity. He laughed a little too. "Now get out!"

"What?" He was confused. He had seen her body before. He'd made love to her. They'd been together for nearly four years. Why should he leave? He wanted to see what she would wear. She seemed to read his mind.

"I recently bought a new dress, a really gorgeous one, but I don't want you to see it until I am ready. I need to do my hair, makeup, and everything before you can see it, now GET OUT!!" she laughed as she forcefully removed him from the room.

He waited in the living room.

"Okay, are you ready to go?" she asked. He looked up…

Words left him. His jaw dropped. His eyes eagerly drank in her form, standing in the hallway. She looked gorgeous. Her dress, made of black silk, had one shoulder strap with a line of sparkling sequins tracing the hems, and trailing over her shoulder. Her hair flowed gracefully as she moved, and her makeup made her chocolate eyes pop. Her lips: a very sensual ruby red.

"Do I look okay?" she asked, watching him stare at her, a smile sneaking over her expression. Squall struggled to find his voice.

"Nothing in this world can compare to your beauty, Rin." He stated simply. She strolled over to him, emitting an aura of grace and beauty as she went. She gently stood on tip toe, and kissed him softly, but passionately.

As the kiss ended, Squall stood there, slightly dazed. He reached into his pocket and retrieved his phone. After pressing a speed dial contact, he spoke into the cell.

"This is Commander Squall Leonhart, SeeD rank A, requesting formal escort to a social setting. ID number 082387, authorization 2084."

"What was that?" Rinoa asked him as he hung up.

"You'll see, just calling in a favor from the boys in dispatch." He smirked.

She took his arm and followed him out the door, and toward the garage, passersby staring at them in awe. When they arrived, they saw Nida, in his SeeD uniform, opening the back door of a black limousine. Rinoa almost laughed in anticipation. She stepped in first, followed by Squall who whispered a quick 'thanks bro' to Nida.

When they arrived, they found the place crowded, much to Rinoa's disappointment.

"Ugh! The wait is going to be ridiculous!" she said. "You wanna just go somewhere else?"

"No," replied Squall, blankly. He was hard to read sometimes…

Nida dropped them off at the door, and they walked in past everyone waiting to be seated. As they neared the host, he looked up and saw Squall.

"Ah Commander and Mrs. Leonhart! Right this way, please." He said as he led them away.

"When did you call for a reservation?" Rinoa whispered to Squall, smiling broadly.

"Honestly?" he whispered back.

"Yeah,"

"About two weeks ago."

She laughed out loud at this. "The place has barely been open that long! And what if I'd said no, I just wanted to stay in tonight?"

"You didn't say that, so it doesn't really matter does it?" He smiled at her as they were seated, and she smiled back.

Squall was quiet through most of dinner, content to letting her talk about her adventures with Ki in Second World, about where and when she bought her dress, about how nice the new place was, about how she was looking forward to dancing after dinner, how good all the desserts looked, and about anything that came to her head. She finally asked about his mission, he explained it to her in detail.

"Aw, my love, don't worry. I'll email you every day if you want. I'll call, and we can talk at night, although that'll run the long distance bill… Hm… Why don't you get a Second World account? Then you can come hang out with me and Ki! That'd be so much fun!"

To this, Squall smiled, but said nothing. That was enough for Rinoa. When they had finished with dinner and dessert, Rinoa noticed that no bill had been brought to the table.

"It's been taken care of…" was all Squall said on the matter. Surprised by his forethought and planning, she stood up.

"Dance with me?" she said, once again teasing him with the first few phrases she'd ever said to him. She continued. "Let me guess, you'll only dance with someone you like. Okay then, look into my eyes. You're-going-to-like-me. You're-going-to-like-me. Did it work?"

"Yes Rinoa, it did." He got up from his seat, but knelt down on one knee before her. "Will you do me the honor of marrying me?" From his pocket he withdrew a small box and opened it, revealing a small, delicate, beautiful diamond ring. He removed it from its box, gently took her left hand, and placed the ring on her ring finger, where it fit flawlessly.

Rinoa was in a state of shock as she gazed at the ring on her finger. Then she realized that Squall was still on one knee, his head bowed to her (a very knightly posture she noted), and that everyone in the room had stopped their conversations to watch. She smiled, collecting herself mentally. She crouched down to his level, took his hands in hers and pulled him up to a standing position. She looked into his steel grey eyes, which, at the moment, looked more of a vivid blue.

"Yes… Yes, Squall, I will marry you. Nothing could make me happier." She said, tears in her eyes. She placed her hands on his face as his went to her waist. They kissed, and applause broke out around them.

The rest of the night was a glorious blur of happiness. The pair danced on into the night, and when it became time to leave, Rinoa only left to be alone with her boyfriend. With her fiancé.

That night, they made the sweetest love either of them had ever experienced. When it finally ended, she rested her head on his chest.

"Squall?" she asked him quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Can you wake me up when you have to get up?"

"No, dear. It's going to be at 0500. That's way earlier than you need to wake up for work."

"Please? I wanna see you before you leave for two months."

"Alright." He said simply. Although it would only be for a few hours, Squall knew he would sleep better tonight than he would for the next eight weeks.

**A/N: Alright. That's Enough for now. I will be updating this often, so please stay tuned. I was going to try to have this finished before I posted anything, but I'm greedy for feedback. More is coming. That's a promise.**

**--N.F.—**


	3. The Departure

I Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 3:

Departure

The alarm woke Squall with a start. He rolled over and hit the button to turn off the noise. He sat up, and his eyes ached with weariness. He looked over at her. She was beautiful, sleeping peacefully beside him. He hated waking her.

"I'm sorry my love, but you wanted me to wake you."

"nnnn…s'ok…" the sleeping Rinoa mumbled. Squall looked at her longingly, but stood up nonetheless.

He crossed the room to his closet, grabbed his duffel bag and made for his dresser. He carelessly emptied all his monochromatic clothing into his bag. He looked over his shoulder and saw Rinoa watching him.

"You seriously need to invest in some color for your wardrobe. You definitely look hot in black and white, but I bet you'd look even better in color." She commented, walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"What do you think my colors are, Rin?" Squall asked her, savoring her embrace as long as he could.

"I don't know, I see so many. Red: for your strength and passion. Blue: for your sadness. Brown: for your softness, understanding, and nurturing nature." At this Squall laughed aloud.

"Nurturing nature?" he laughed.

"Yes Squall, and if you disagree, well, I've always said that I know you better than you know yourself. You always take care of your team, me, your friends, everyone. Remember when you carried me from FH to Esthar? That was surely a four or five day hike, probably 300 miles."

"That wasn't being nurturing…" He said. "…It was being…"

"In love?" She finished for him and giggled. "Don't those go hand in hand?" She grabbed his hand and entwined her fingers in his. Squall hesitated. "That's what I thought, I love you too Squall, and I always will."

Squall finished packing and walked toward the front gate, Rinoa in step with him. When he neared the gate, he saw the Ragnarok waiting for him. He approached it and tossed his bag to the SeeD who stood waiting for him. He turned to Rinoa.

Before he could say a word, she threw herself into his arms and held him tightly. She loosened her grip slightly, just enough that she could kiss him deeply. When they parted, he saw her eyes shine with tears. He knew she was trying to be strong, but she'd miss him terribly. And he'd miss her too. More than she'd ever know.

With difficulty, he pulled away from her. With a final, meaningful glance at her, he turned his back on her and boarded his ship.

Rinoa was almost disappointed at his lack of dialogue with her, but his last glance said everything he needed to say to her. She saw his eyes speak to her, and she heard many things.

"I'm sorry, I'll miss you, it hurts me to leave you, I can't wait to hear from you, I'll let you know how things are doing." Were some of the things she saw him saying with his eyes. But more importantly, his eyes, full of longing, said some other things that were far more important to her. They said:

"I can't wait to make you my wife"

"I love you, with all my heart, with my entire mind, and with all my soul. You complete me, and I'd be lost without you."

She stood there as the Ragnarok took off. She looked at the blood red vessel. It was in the cockpit where he had first held her in his arms, granted unintentionally. It was there where she first confided her feelings to him. And now, it bore him away from her. She watched the Ragnarok fly off into the distance, and she began to cry.

**A/N: New chapter, hoorah. More coming. Just a warning: it' going to get a little darker soon. Still a love story, but it's loosely based on something that happened recently in my life. I'll explain more when we get to that part of the story. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you'll stick with it. As always, Read and Review. **

**--Noble Falcon--**


	4. Arrival in Trabia

I Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 4:

Arrival in Trabia

"Sir? Sir wake up! We've arrived at Trabia Garden. It is currently 0715 hours and you have a meeting with Headmaster Flatz. Your luggage has been taken to your room, which the headmaster will show you after your meeting."

"Thank you," Squall murmured as he stood up. He wondered vaguely why he was awake at 7:15am, but he was getting used to it. It was expected for the Commander of Balamb Garden to be available for questions and orders from 0600 to usually 0400 the next morning. He made for the headmasters office. _Might as well get started_ he thought.

"Nice to meet you Commander Leonhart, I am headmaster Vance Flatz." The headmaster said when Squall entered his office.

"Good to finally meet you sir." Squall replied.

"Thank you so much for coming, I can't tell you how much this organization has been looking for some leadership. We have a pending contract to fill, and I hope your instruction, training, and leadership will allow us to meet the conditions of hiring party. You'll be briefed on the details momentarily. But please, follow me. I have gathered the student body, and they are eager to hear from you."

"With all due respect sir, I have prepared no statement for the cadets. I was actually unaware of deployment. I was led to believe that there would be no missions until I deemed them ready."

"With all due respect, Commander, we are paying a hefty fine for you to be here. And if we don't take every contract that we can, prepared or not, we'll go bankrupt."

"When is deployment?" Squall asked as he was led to the auditorium.

"Tomorrow at 0800 hours. They are looking to you for support sir. I realize there isn't much training you can do, but please speak to them."

And with that the headmaster opened the door they stood in front of and walked out on stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, students and cadets, I know you are all anxious about our upcoming mission tomorrow. But today, as you may or may not have heard from your classmates, we have with us a very special guest. He's a hero of the Time Compression Wars, the Commander of Balamb Garden, and the son of President Loire of Esthar. Today, I'm proud to introduce your new teacher and commanding officer. Ladies and gentlemen, help me welcome Commander Squall Leonhart!"

The student body cheered. Headmaster Flatz clapped appreciatively. Squall sighed. _I hate this. _He thought. _It's just another mission, think of it that way. It's just another mission…_

As Squall walked through the door he was standing in front of, his mind went into work mode. He frantically tried to remember his training on public speaking. _Start with a joke, or other informal comment to allow the audience to relate to you. It will add an impact to what you have to say._

As he reached the podium, he was still unsure of what exactly he would say. He'd just have to wing it. He noticed the audience was still applauding.

"Good morning everyone. Would someone like to tell me why the hell we're doing this at 7:30 in the goddamn morning?" He started, and the audience laughed in appreciation.

"I know that everyone here is expecting me to be some sort of superhero, fearless and all powerful, and although that is true, it doesn't make our future together any easier." The audience laughed again.

"Be aware, everyone, that we are in for a tough few months. There's nothing I can say or do to change that. Real SeeD are made from hard work, study, and discipline. I am looking forward to observing all of you in real situations, from the classroom to the battlefield. In the meantime, it has come to my attention that many of you have a mission tomorrow morning. Would those of you participating in that field exam raise your hands please?"

A handful of students raised their hands.

"Please make sure to arrange a meeting with me sometime today or tonight. Does anyone have any questions?"

Several people raised their hands. Squall called on someone at random.

"Sir, what was it like fighting against Ultimecia? Were you ever afraid?"

"Time compression was no laughing matter, and yes, I was very scared. It's very natural to be afraid in battle. The best way to cope with that fear is to… find something worth living for, something or someone who relies on you, and who you can rely on. If you do that, you can find the strength to get through anything. Anyone else? Yes, you in front,"

"So are you saying that you were only able to defeat Sorceress Ultimecia because of your feelings for Sorceress Rinoa?"

"… yes. She was, and is, my strength. Now, no more questions about my personal life. Any more questions about protocol or about being a SeeD in general?"

Squall continued to take questions for a few more minutes until the students were dismissed to their classes. Squall was then taken to the headmaster's office and was briefed on their mission. The following morning, he was to lead a group of 15 cadets into Galbadian territory, and gain control of a Galbadian transportation convoy, which had five Trabian prisoners on board. Squall read over the details several times in quick succession, until he had memorized them.

After that, Squall was shown to his room and was given the list of appointments he had to keep. All 15 of the cadets had scheduled their meetings between 6:00 and 10:00 pm. Once he was unpacked, he made his way around the garden, checking on students, observing lessons, assisting in combat, and helping whenever he could.

The meetings with the SeeD potentials went fairly well, and Squall assessed them to be more than capable. He divided them into three teams of five, an Assault Team, an Escort Team, and an Extraction Team. All was going well, as long as they didn't encounter and difficulties…

He was finally finished around 11:00 pm. Hoping that she was still awake, he called Rinoa's cell, lighting a cigarette as he did so. It felt so good to him; it was his first of the day.

"Hey Squall," she sang from the other end. "How'd your first day go?"

"Not bad, I guess. We have a mission tomorrow at 0800, so I don't know when we'll be back. I'll let you know when I do."

"A mission already? That's great! Maybe once you get 'em up and going you can come home early!"

"I doubt it."

"Fine! Rain on my parade! But seriously, be careful. I don't think I could stand it if you were hurt and I had to wait eight weeks to make sure you were ok."

"I'll be fine, really. And if something were to happen, you'd be the first to know."

"And I'd be on the first flight to Trabia. Can I come visit you soon?"

"I don't know how soon, but yes. I'd like that. Let's get through this next assignment, and we'll discuss a visit."

"Okay baby, sounds like a plan. So today after I got off work, I got on Second World. Me and Ki went to this new spot and…"

Rinoa continued to talk about her video game adventures with Ki, and Squall had to admit, he was starting to feel a little left out. Maybe he should try this out. He'd worry about that later; he had too much work to do to worry about a video game.

"… but Ki really wants to meet you, I've told him all about you. When are you going to get an account?" she finished.

"Soon… possibly. Let me settle in and get into my routine, then we'll see."

"Great! I can't wait. Anyway my love, It's nearly 12:30, and I believe someone has a mission in a few hours. Get some rest Squall; I'll talk to you later. I love you, I miss you, I want you, and I need you. I can't wait to feel your arms around me."

"I love you too Rin; I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Squall."

"Goodnight."

A/N: Thank you to Lionheart1 and Tashin for the reviews. And I will seriously try to avoid pointless, fluffy chapters going forward. It's all part of a bigger story, and since it's (loosely) based on a personal experience, I know exactly what's going to happen, so no worries about writers block. Yay! Everything has a point, I promise. Stick with me, and I won't disappoint.

--Noble Falcon--


End file.
